Psychedelic Journey

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to reach out to me. I’d love to have an open and friendly discussion about anything I’ve written here.

This is an overview of my journey with psychedelics and other drugs.

I use drugs. All of us do, but not all of us are conscious or intentional about our drug use nor do we always learn from our experiences. I certainly haven’t always been the wisest with my choices of drug use, and I’m still learning.

I think it’s important that we’re all honest and open about our drug use so that we can create a world where people can use (or not use) drugs without facing negative consequences, either physical, psychological, or legal.

Here is a list of the drugs that I have used and a rough timeline of my experiences, with links to Erowid where I have submitted reports.

What I Do

Past Experiences

Mushrooms
December 2021
I had the opportunity to take ~2.3g of Liberty caps with a few friends and go for a hike. It was the most beautiful day that one could have imagined. There was a brief period of discomfort and fear as I experienced synesthesia and auditory distortions, but it was one of the most fun and hilarious experiences of my life.

Ayahuasca
November 2021
Two amazingly terrifying, beautiful, and overwhelminng experiences. I was at Arkana Sacred Valley for a retreat and was shown that I needed overcome my fear of rejection so that I could love and be loved by others.

5-MeO DMT
November 2021
This experience was also at Arkana and showed me a sneak peak of the afterlife and taught me that no matter how trapped we feel in this life–or the cycle of lives–that if we can learn to love more it is always worth it.

San Pedro
November 2021
San Pedro was the last experience at Arkana and was more light and fun experience. I saw the world as if for the first time and was able to connect to others on a deep emotional level. I felt at home even though I was in a foreign country.

DXM
May 2021
DXM, the active ingredient in most cough syrups, is a dissociative anesthetic with psychedelic properties at sub-anesthetic doses. It has been known to help people discover and overcome past traumas, and can also produce profound religious experiences. At higher doses, it can be hallucinogenic causing the user to think that things are happening that aren’t.

I started with a low dose and had a emotionally challenging but incredibly positive experience. I saw many of the failings in my life that I had always known but had never taken a close look at. I saw how this was caused because past failings and childhood experiences. I saw myself and my family in a new light and realized that there are a lot of things that I can be doing better.

It was this experience that made me decide to be more open about my experiences and ultimately led to this post.

It also gave me the motivation to foster a better community in our neighborhood and to get to know our neighbors and invite them over for fellowship and meals. It’s been so recent, however, that those plans are still in progress.

DMT
May 2021
DMT is a plant-derived psychedelic and one of the most potent psychedelics known. It reliably produces experiences of reality being replaced by a 4-dimensional space that is described as more real than real. People meet beings in that space and the consistency between experiences leads many to believe that it is a real place within the collective conscious.

I had one full experience with DMT in which I found this space, though it was not exactly the same as others have described. The place that I found was mostly personal and related to things about me and my family, though at times, it felt as if I had found paradise and the source of this entire reality.

I found it to be a very positive and life-affirming experience that left me with the feeling that life is beautiful and that there is so much to do and learn.

Nicotine
July 2020
I was using a lot of caffeine around this time and was looking for something better. I tried some strong nicotine gum to see if that would be a good alternative. It made me feel a bit anxious and lightheaded and provided no benefit so I discontinued use after three or four attempts.

Cocaine
April 2020
By a very odd set of circumstances in which I was in the home of several people I had met while walking and was sharing the gospel with them, I was offered cocaine. I had always been interested in cocaine and after some thought decided to try it. I snorted two lines and found the experience to be entirely boring. I had a slight rush of confidence and a desire to talk and think precisely but it was less intense of a buzz than what I would get from a good coffee. I have never used or desired to use cocaine since. Maybe one day if I can find pure cocaine I would try that to see if it was substantially different, but I think that the abuse potential may be higher than is worth it to test that theory.

LSD
October 2019
Still dealing with anxiety, I wanted to take a small dose to try to gain more clarity. I took a little more than I had intended to (without legalization and regulation there is no way to accurately dose) and had a difficult experience in which I faced my shadow. I was so terrified by this that I decided to stop using psychedelics for a while and focus more on my relationship with God. It took a while to integrate this experience, but in the end seeing my own shadow and evil desires was helpful in that I learned to accept them and work toward ensuring they do not gain control.

LSD
August 2019
A very small dose of LSD which helped me to realize the lies that my mind was telling me about my anxiety and depression. After this trip, I never experienced severe depression again. I was amazed at the clarity of thought that LSD could provide to help people stuck in mental ruts.

4-AcO DMT
July 2019
I wanted to try magic mushrooms, but had to settle with a synthetic version. I took it while hiking in the woods, but took too much and had a difficult experience. There was a period of psychosis in which I became paranoid. I thought that the world was completely void of meaning and always had been and was sure I’d be stuck that way forever. I felt fine later that evening, but didn’t realize the trauma that had been done. This later manifested as severe anxiety and depression, which took time to work through, not to mention a few months of therapy. On the other side, I value this experience as it’s shaped the way I look at mental illness and has allowed me to help and empathize with others.

LSA
May 2019
LSA is (lysergic acid) is a legal compound found in morning glory seeds. I purchased several packs of seeds online and boiled them to extract the psychoactive compound. It can cause hallucinations and interesting psychedelic effects at higher doses, but the raw seed material can cause nausea. I experienced mild nausea and a high which was uninteresting and barely noticeable. Because of the nausea and lack of insight, I decided to not try this again.

Kava
May 2019
Kava is a legal plant-based drug used to provide relaxation and relief form anxiety. I was curious about its effects so I ordered some from Amazon and made a very strong cup of tea from the powder. It tasted horrible but I gagged it down. I felt a bit relaxed and separated from the world, but the state was neither helpful for anxiety nor interesting, so I never tried it again.

LSD
May 2019
A beautiful experience. Started with meditation, and felt as if my emotions were a reflection of the outer world. Stood outside in a thunderstorm and appreciated the raw power and beauty of nature. Felt a profound sense of oneness and connection with all life in the universe. Made some progress in theological ideas and saw how quickly and deeply the mind could work with this psychedelic.

CBD Oil
Off and on, 2019 – present
CBD oil is a legal psychoactive found in the cannabis plant and is often used in an extract to treat anxiety, depression, and other mental illness. I wanted to try it for anxiety and used it on several occasions in liquid form. I found that it did dull anxiety but that it also dulled thinking and in social settings this produced more anxiety so the net result was zero. However, I find it to be very helpful in getting to sleep at night as I sometimes have insomnia. I keep some around for that purpose.

Kratom
Off and on, 2018 – present
Kratom is not a psychedelic but a legal plant-based stimulant, and at higher doses, an analgesic. It’s similar to an opioid, but without some of the health risks and addictive profile. This is one of my favorites to use on a more regular basis (one to two times a week). I find it to be a smoother energy boost that coffee without any jitteriness or digestive issues. It also doesn’t keep me up at night which is a big issue with coffee. I’ve never taken it at doses enough to discover its analgesic or euphoric properties. It can be addictive for some people, so it isn’t all fun and games.

Marijuana
December 2018
I had the opportunity to obtain marijuana in the form of edibles and thought that it would make for a fairly safe and interesting experience. I was wrong! I took way too much, thanks to some misinformation from my source, and ended up having an overwhelming and time-stopping experience. I was a bit high for about a week after too. It wasn’t an experience that was highly interesting or worth repeating and I haven’t used marijuana since. Maybe some day….

Salvia Divinorum
Late 2018 – Early 2019
Salvia is a psychedelic plant which is legal in most states in the US. I experimented this mostly because it was legal and I thought it would be a good introduction to psychedelics. I had many interesting experiences with Salvia, though it could be fairly intense and disorienting. One notable experience had entities which I spoke to, another showed me a picture of what life might have been like in the Garden of Eden, and another gave me insight into how our brains construct objects using imagination from visual stimuli.

Caffeine
Off and on, 2017 – present
I have used this stimulant drug off and on and have sometimes found it helpful, but generally it has a lot of negative effects. It interferes with digestion and disrupts sleep and I find that I can easily become psychologically addicted to it. This has possibly been the most damaging drug to me and I try to only consume it in teas these days.

Alcohol
Off and on, 2017 – present
I have used this depressant drug every now and again and have found it to be interesting at low doses. It helps make socialization easier and to dull anxiety. I have never been drunk, but would like to at some point to experience that state. I generally do not like the physiological effects of alcohol (increased urination, worsened tinnitus, poor sleep) and tend to avoid it.